Ephemerama #59

October has been a very chaotic month for me on several fronts and I have to admit that I’m glad that it’s coming to a close, excepting for the fact that November promises to be more uncertain. I tend to be anxiety-prone and I believe that we often attract drama if we feel like we’re always subsumed by it, so I’m really interested in the notion that I’m attracting events that are unfolding in my life almost as if I feel like I don’t deserve calm or peace. I love how this idea of attracting chaos and yearning calm is reflected in my works, I vacillate with ease from dense work like Gnostic Confessions 4 and Malik’s B-Boy Blues to pieces of relative tranquility like Adela’s Bouquet and Maxatawny Stitzer

I’ve had uncomfortable cause to wonder why others have received certain rewards in life that I have not, or why whenever I achieve in one area of my life it seems to always be canceled out by hardship in others. Some would say that’s just life and we should just get used to it, and for the most part I would agree. Except that when I was a younger man, and facing some quandary, I set about changing my circumstances. In retrospect my efforts at creating positive change were unconscious for the most part. Which is why I believe in a certain amount of determinism mixed with serendipity here and there. It’s frankly how I think we’re all going to get through to next Tuesday.

Here’s a piece I discovered online the other day that I loved, It perfectly represents my mental state these last few weeks

I’ve been thinking a lot about positivity and the need to surround oneself with those who believe in your dreams and aspirations. I naturally drift towards the melancholy so it’s important to temper that, i don’t know genetic predisposition, with its opposite, energy-wise. I’ve recently become the artist-liaison at the Banana Factory and I hope to bring this same affirming solutions oriented attitude to that role. On a larger level I think we all need a bit more of that spirit from our leaders as well.

I confess to obsessing like most of us progressives, over poll numbers. I visit the 538 website like 20 times a day to see if something new had been added, for example. Whoever wins I think there must be some type of acknowledgement from leadership at the top that we are indeed in a struggle with Corona and other crises that are essential existential in nature, and that the solutions out of these dilemmas will require sacrifice and unity.

I remember how during the Iraq War, the true costs of that adventure were not felt by most Americans. I worked at the New York Times at that time as a National Desk Clerk and I saw AP stories come across my preverbal desk that I would have to cull for facts to put into files for journalists. It always saddens me at the end of the day that so little was known or understood about how that war unfolded, if you can remember the Bush Administration refused to show bodies returning to Andrews Air Force Base as had been tradition for years past. I fear Corona is gearing up to be spun the same was as that war by the current administration. Frankly, even a Biden administration will face a temptation to change the narrative. This would be such a mistake. When we can celebrate loss and acknowledges pain and hardship we can set up plans and build a truly optimistic and positive future that’s based on data and compassion.

It’s my hope that as well move into the close of this sad political season, into the Dark Winter that Biden predicts, we can all come together whatever our backgrounds, and repair the real damage the current White House occupant has done to our collective spirits.

Here “Adele’s Bouquet”, and “Adela Bouquet Two Week Later” for a little bit of sweet before the Election Day anxiety sets in


Music hasn’t been doing the thing it normally does in kicking me in high gear lately excepting for Deee-Lite. I think it’s because I have so many things on my mind all at once. I did thanks to Michelle Neifert rediscover the Deee-Lite album “Dewdrops in the Garden”. The entire album is pretty solid but my favorite songs on it are “Bittersweet Loving” and “River of Freedom”. Here are some YouTube videos of those tracks for you.


This next week I will start to transform the studio to begin working out ideas for a commission I’m working on for a hospital near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I’m pretty nervous about the idea and have been procrastinating on it a bit because of what the commission could do for my career. I’ve been going back and forth with the stake-holders for about a week or so now and I think I have the concept down. When I return to the studio Monday I’ll begin sketching out my ideas and doing a series of mock-ups to show the committee judging the commission. As I develop my ideas over the course of the next month I’ll blog about them some more. Until then do be well and stay safe!

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