Ephemerama #61

It goes without saying for most that 2020 was a difficult year filled with uncomfortable transitions and filled with personal and national tragedies. Excepting that I work in that orange hardware store and am considered – since we never close for anything – a front line worker, I’ve been exceptionally fortunate during this time of trial, and for that I am extremely thankful. Having this last month moved to another house rental in a much better safer part of town, I am now in the midst of getting my new studio up to shape. I am very aware of the different energies in the two new spaces I now occupy. On the home front I am more aware than ever that I live with others who I have to constantly negotiate with even to do common sense house maintenance tasks. With the new studio I am increasingly aware that my general desire to increase efficiency and artistic professionalism has now become an existential concern because the space is more expensive to maintain.

While I would like to have made both of these moves while on vacation for a month, they both were done in a crucible of non-stop activity. It feels like the way many people have to balance multiple priorities at once, and in this pandemic, most people have to do this while raising kids and in many cases while unemployed. I’m trying to take both transitions at a pace that feels comfortable even with certain very real obligations that need to be tended to. I’m reminded lately of my younger days and of how moves were a once-every-year or so part of life.

I can remember about 15 years ago coming out of a really bad relationship with a good person who was very wrong for me at the time. After that relationship ended I moved first to Hamilton Heights in Harlem then further uptown to the Sugar Hill area of the neighborhood. I think that year I went through 4 different sets of roommates, broke like 3 leases, and began and ended a couple intense affairs. It was a wild time in my life that I look back on with some nostalgia. You know the kind where everything seemed better, your thinner and there were no problems. When I was in my 20’s I’d tell people I was an artist pursuing my career – and I did do a lot of work – but my actions clearly showed I was more concerned with getting laid and having knight-in-shinning armor boyfriends. One thing not on my mind at all then was my ability to adapt to change.

I have this change Buddha at the entrance to the house door that I tell everyone to feed. I tell people “Feed the Buddha because he will multiple the change into untold dollar riches”. For me this is a gimmick, a change in mindset that came about when I needed to focus my wish-fulfillment energies around an object a few years back. Do I believe I have a magical genie in my home, of course no. But the Buddha does change my focus albeit subtly I believe. In this year of change I think that little bit of mindset change, that a talisman if you will, is just the sort of thing we need to adapt and maybe thrive in our new pandemic and post pandemic normal.

Here’s my little change Buddha that I keep at my front door

We have ample evidence, with how we as a nation dealt with the pandemic and with the social justice protests of this year, that we’d rather live in delusions rather than reality. Rather than weaponize our irrational insecurities to feed our worst selves why not believe in a charm to remind us what we are capable of. A charm to help us be good and better than before.

I’m been deep into this recent Dela release “Atmosphere Airlines Volume 3” and now have a new favorite track on the record which is “Janet”. I think I’m just into the real smooth mood of the track. I’ve found myself more into hip-hop and R and B instrumentals for a long time now. Its a sort of escape from thinking too hard about lyric-meanings for me, which invariably ruins a song because I over-think so often. The other song I’ve had on rewind lately is “The Chase, Part 2” from the Tribe Called Quest’s legendary CD “Midnight Marauders”. Not sure what the earworms in my head wanted me to see when placing these track in my head on a loop, but here are two YouTube videos of these songs for you all to enjoy as well.

I’m still in the slow process of moving into my new space at the banana, which one way or another will need to be completed next week. I’m very interested in why its taking so long to move into the space. I think I’m having difficulty feeling the energy in the space since I associate it so my with its previous occupant Darrell George. As with most things with me I think the only way I will get over myself with this fear-factor will be to just jump in and finish the damn move even if things aren’t in their perfect final location. I’ll settle in slowly and next week I plan to blog again with a year in review of the work I produced in 2020. Until then do be well and stay safe.

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